Fuck the Election

Am I the only one tired of this bullshit? These assholes spend millions of fuckin dollars trying to get people to vote for them, and nothing ever changes anyway. You’re choosing between 2 piles of shit. Actually, it’s currently about 6 piles of shit because we’re still doing “primaries.” This is another completely idiotic thing. You need to go vote for the person you want before you can vote for them. HUH? Voting for the asshole once isn’t enough? Apparently, not. Why don’t they all just run and be done with it? Nope, we have to narrow it down to 2 of these idiots. Then, in order to vote, you have to be “registered.” A drivers license or SS card should be all the fucking registration you need. Fuck registering for something most people only bother to do every 4 years anyway. What kind of asshole came up with that shit?

Then you essentially have to choose a side. Nobody looks at the candidates for what they are. It’s either Republican or Democrat. Where’s the “I think Washington is drowning in a sea of it’s own bullshit” option? Fuck both parties. The Democrats refuse to leave the 2nd amendment the fuck alone. They’ll forever fuck over gun owners. The Republicans are so preachy and faith driven they should be running for pope, not president. Stop trying to ram your fucking beliefs down everyone’s throats, and respect the separation of church and state. That means your fucking 10 commandments and other religious shit doesn’t belong on government property, in government institutions, etc. and laws should be based on logic and fucking reason, not your anti-freedom, anti-abortion, anti-homo agenda. That also means no fucking exemptions for bullshit beliefs. The law should apply to everyone or nobody at all. No excuses. No exemptions. Fuck your religion.

Why the fuck are liquor store owners still not allowed to CHOOSE to be open on Sunday morning or open a store/bar within a certain distance a church? Fucking bible thumpers. Why is prostitution illegal? Bible thumpers. Like George Carlin always said, “Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn’t selling fucking legal?” It really is that simple. A woman should have a right to do what she wants with her own body, including selling fucking access.

How do so many unreasonable, illogical, and unconstitutional laws get passed? Because nobody is impartial or logical about it, and they don’t have to go through any scrutiny. They just get all their cronies to vote their shit in no matter how ridiculous it is. Then people have to fight it to the supreme court to get rid of it. Now there’s an open seat on there and everyone is fighting over who’s going to get it. It’s not about the person, it’s about what party the represent. Will they fuck over gun owners or atheists? Religious privilege in this country needs to fucking stop, and the 2nd amendment needs to stop being restricted and shit on.

Clint Eastwood should’ve run instead of just writing bullshit war movies the past 10 years. Can you imagine Dirty Harry as president? Hell yeah. Of course, then everyone acts like it’s so important who’s in the oval office. That idiot in that office can only do so much while the same fucking assholes sit in congress, senate, etc term after term because stupid motherfuckers keep voting them back in.

So go vote. Go to the stupid rallies. I’ll sit here and play Xbox, and you all can vote in the next group of assholes.

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Fuck Your Kids

I’m sick and tired of these uptight motherfuckers who act like the internet should be censored for the sake of their kids. Fuck you, and fuck your fucking kids. The internet is a free zone. No FCC. Don’t like it? Keep your inbred spawn offline until they’re older. You do NOT have a right to expect Facebook, social media sites or fucking anything online to keep to a G/PG rating. Go fuck yourself. Free speech is free speech, weather you agree with which goddamn words people use to express themselves or not. If you think the worst thing your kids can see on social media sites is a few four letter words, you’re fucking delusional. This is what’s ruining America. People who refuse to accept the 21st century and still want to restrict others to stay within their narrow-minded beliefs of how people should talk, what should or shouldn’t be open on Sundays, etc etc.

Just because something offends you, doesn’t mean anyone else should give a flying fuck. I’m extremely offended by preachy people who won’t stop talking about bible bullshit, but I can’t bitch slap them or demand their Facebook comments be removed. I’m also offended by others being offended by pretty much anything, especially the confederate fucking flag. I’m even more offended by the pussies who keep removing the stars and bars from everything. Caving in to these over-sensitive assholes is bullshit and downright un-American. What happened to freedom?

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Fuck the Oscars

Oh, tonight is the Oscars. Who gives a flying fuck? Does anyone EVER get nominated from the big box office movies 99% of the country goes to the theaters for? No. It’s always bullshit movies you never fucking heard of, would never spend $10 to go see, and probably didn’t even get shown in half the theaters because nobody gives a fuck about them. This year a lot of people are bitching there aren’t any black actors nominated. Why doesn’t anyone bitch there aren’t any good movies involved in the nominations? It’s a total shit show. The black actors should be happy they’re not associated with that kind of shit. Star Wars broke some records last year. Did anyone from that get nominated? I fucking doubt it. Oh, the asshole that composed music for every Star Wars. Big deal. Hunger Games? Nope. Furious 7? I don’t see Vinny getting nominated for any of the cool shit he does. Bryan Cranston is apparently nominated for some random shit. Give him an Oscar for Breaking Bad, motherfuckers. Fuck the Oscars. Why does anyone care?
Update: Apparently Leonardo DiCaprio finally won an Oscar. They gave him an award for some bullshit movie most people won’t even bother to see…as opposed to Titanic or Catch Me If you Can, which were actually good. Like I said, fuck the Oscars.

 

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Fuck Shipping Carriers

Yeah, this is what I’m pissed about lately. First, I’m an hour from a Gamefly warehouse. Can someone explain to me how the fuck I mailed 2 games on the 9th of this month and they didn’t receive them until 10 fucking days later!?!? It’s normally an overnight thing. Almost everything I’ve returned to Gamefly has been there the next morning. Yet, everything they mail to me takes 2 days. The fucking USPS sort facility is right there in Pittsburgh! They mail shit, it goes right to the sorting facility and on to my fucking post office to get delivered. How the fuck does that take 2 days, but me mailing to them is 1 day? Then that specific warehouse sent me a game case for one I bought last week, and that took 7 days. I didn’t need the case that bad, but I needed the fucking online code inside it. I’m also waiting for the last game they sent out, which will be 3 days tomorrow. Once again, how the fuck does it take 3 days to come an hour from where it started? The shipping email tells you which warehouse it came from if it’s being mailed from somewhere besides your default location, so I know it’s coming from Pittsburgh. Then the assholes made me wait an entire week to have my next game shipped. I’m an hour away. I shipped the fucking thing. It’s not my fault USPS is fucking useless. Get my next batch of shit shipped.

These postal and parcel bastards need to start working Sundays/weekends too. The Sunday church day bullshit mentality needs to stop already. It’s the 21st century, assholes. Amazon is talking about using drones to deliver mail, and you fuckers still won’t deliver on Sundays!?!?

Bullshit like Media Mail should also be a thing of the past by now. NOTHING should take more than a week to ship anywhere in the US. However, instead of speeding things up, everyone is finding new ways to fuck over the people receiving packages. Most online retailers are sticking everyone with this SmartPost and SurePost bullshit now. For those in other countries, or just living under a fucking rock, this means UPS/FedEx ships the package to your local post office for the post office to then deliver as regular mail. The problem is these fuckers ALWAYS take an extra day for no reason. I’ve watched tracking on more packages than I care to remember. When UPS gets a package to the regional hub here, it ends up at the local hub, on a truck and “out for delivery” by 7am the next morning. UPS’s SurePost bullshit runs my packages through the same regional hub and local hub, but they’re somehow incapable of getting the shit to the post office TWO FUCKING MILES AWAY before the mail carriers leave for their fucking route. I’m fairly sure my mail carrier doesn’t even leave the post office until after 8am or even 9 most days. UPS can have their shit sorted and on a truck before 7am, but they can’t get the shit 2 miles down the road by 8? It takes them until fucking 1pm!? For fuck sake.

Ebay and Amazon marketplace sellers need to get with the fuckin program too. I’d say at least half of them are offering First Class as their default shipping now. Anyone who still ships to me with Media Mail gets a negative at this point. Fuck em. Same goes for anyone who prints a shipping label and emails it to me, but waits 4 fucking days to actually drop the package in the mail. Fuck you too. Complete the fucking job in a timely manner.

International shipping pisses me off too, especially international Amazon sites’ shipping. Will Amazon ever offer proper shipping options that are worth a shit? If I order a few games from PlayAsia, I pay $15 shipping, and I have them in 3-5 days from FedEx. My first order with Solaris for 5 games at $20 shipping arrived OVERNIGHT. Over fucking night from Japan. DHL literally flew the shit straight to Ohio and delivered it. The tracking was fun to watch there. Left Japan at 4pm today. Arrived in Ohio at 11am today. HUH? Yeah, time zones are fun sometimes. Now what I want to know is why the fuck I can’t get that kind of service form Europe, or even from Canada for anywhere near the same prices. I’m not even sure I can overnight some stuff within the US for under $20. Ordering a few movies from Canadian Amazon used to cost me like $15 shipping and actually took LONGER to arrive than an order placed at Amazon UK the same fucking day, and I’m like 6 hours from the Canadian border. Figure that shit out. Amazon UK/DE always want $30+ for faster shipping too. I think I paid $30 for the 2nd fastest shipping option (5-10 days?) on Amazon.de last time, and it still took 3 fucking weeks. Then the fuckers refused to refund it. There’s nobody else to order from that stocks all the same titles either.

That brings me to my other problem with international Amazon sites. The fucking bastards refuse to ship games to the US. They’ll ship movies, which are also region locked, but not games. Are you fucking kidding me? Other sites in the same countries ship fucking games, but they obviously don’t have the same selection Amazon does.

p.s. Fuck Chick-Fil-A. Those assholes aren’t open on Sunday either. I tried it once randomly before I knew what kind of assholes run that outfit. It wasn’t half bad, but I’ll never go back until they start operating like a normal 21st century business.

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Fuck the Internet

You know. The internet used to be a fun place. Now it’s just a restrictive cesspool of advertisement, spyware, and malware infested sites run by paranoid, uptight, fucking pussies. Yeah, I didn’t get laid for Valentine’s Day, and I’m in a shitty mood. I’m 34 now, and I’ve only ever had one good Valentine’s Day. Here we go folks…

What the fuck happened to freedom of expression? Every staffer at every fucking site nowadays acts like they’re working for the FCC. If the rampant censorship of simple words that are part of the english language and listed the same as any other word in the fucking dictionary wasn’t enough, you also have the super paranoid types that are afraid to let anyone even mention piracy/modding/anything questionable no matter what the fucking context.

The paranoia doesn’t stop there though. Now they’re actually afraid of letting people talk about others by name. Apparently, even telling people to avoid a specific random on XBL could be libelous? WHAT THE FUCK!? Is everyone online having their vagina waxed between their sessions on the PC??? Welcome to the internet. Where men are men, women are men, and everyone is a giant fucking pussy. Why is every staffer I run into at websites so uptight they’re damn near inside out!?

Shall we begin? Ok, censorship is retarded everywhere, but I’ll point out some of the most retarded and most aggravating ones I know of. The official Gears of War forums always pissed me off. The characters in campaign can say “fuck” constantly, but you can’t use it in the forums no matter what the context. Fuck them. It’s a forum for an M rated fucking game. Oh, is this a callout? Nope. Fact. Look at their fucking website. I’ve seen forums censor words as simple as goddamn and retarded. RETARDED? Way to prove how retarded your fucking staff is. It’s even better when the fucking asshole who wrote the bullshit custom forums doesn’t have shit just auto-censored, and instead, chooses to block the post entirely until you fix it…BUT they don’t tell you exactly which word is against their ridiculous policy! Amazon actually clears the post box entirely, so you have to hit the back button and hope the fuck everything you just wrote is still there!

I was on another forum a while back and said something as simple as suggesting the console/game actually deserves to get pirated, and some tool thought that was enough to violate the anti-piracy rule. Fuck off.

Now for the odd issue that sparked this rant in the first place. Callouts. No, not map locations on Halo. Pay attention. The internet definition of a callout is apparently extremely fucking vague, not to mention paranoid. My status about a week ago was a simple warning to avoid a random asshole on XBL, who is NOT registered on TA and has nothing to do with the site. Somehow telling people to avoid someone is potentially libelous?


The reason we have this rule is simple, we cannot allow anything potentially libelous on the site and have to remove what we find.

How exactly is saying to avoid someone a libelous fucking statement? I didn’t say his momma is fat. I said don’t help the fucking asshole boost!! Plain and simple. I didn’t publicly accuse him of finger banging my cat! So if I make my status “Vote for Paul” or “Don’t vote for Trump” is that a fucking callout too? Get fucking real. I might finally be on the verge of getting good internet after all these years, and it’s barely worth having. I guess I can still download porn. For now.

Wait. I’m not done bitching about callouts. My experience with these bullshit callout rules actually did start with Halo, specifically Bungie.net forums. When I first got on Reach in late 2010, Bungie was still in charge (R.I.P. Halo 2011 — fuck 343). Every firefight match I got into there were people idling for XP/rounds survived (Perfectionist commmendation). I even got host booted by some asshole who was hiding for rounds survived after I ran the piece of shit over with a ghost. Stupid bastard sent me text messages about it so I had evidence to report to MS. Anyway, there were matches of 4 player co-op I’d get in and be the only one actually playing. It was shit, and Bungie knew it. I kept track of all the assholes, since the “avoid player” feature didn’t work and filing complaints for “cheating” was doing nothing. I posted a list of about 70 names and demanded they do something. They removed my post because “callouts.”

Did they fix the credit payouts so it multiplied the kill bonuses and stopped giving credits just for being there? Of course not. Everyone gets a fucking trophy now. Hence, one of my problems with GTASC, but that’s for another blog. They reset a few peoples’ ranks. Fat lot of good that did. There was a guy who was reset 3 fucking times and STILL idled firefight!

I’m so tired of this anti-callout shit I registered TrueAssholes.com, which I hope to dedicate to allowing everyone to call out the assholes on the internet when I have time. Be on the lookout for it. Websites need to stop protecting the anonymity of anonymous online identities of anonymous fucking assholes.

 

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Fuck Dating Sites – Redux

Valentine’s Day is approaching once again, and it looks like I’ll be spending yet another year alone. I’m certainly grateful for the one relationship I did have. Still, it was 2 months out of all these years. Sometimes I wish I was a regular idiot who could just work long hours, meet women, and find a wife. I’m different though. I hate normal society. I don’t get out and meet others easily. I’m a shut in. Stupid people and stupid rules piss me off. Excessively busy people piss me off. Overly religious people piss me off. All I’ve ever really wanted was a good woman. I never dreamed of some bullshit special career. I look at the world a little differently. Maybe I’m an asshole, but I’m still a good guy.

Am I really that picky? My ex was 200lbs and 5 years older than me, but she was gorgeous. Smokers are a bit of a turn off, especially with my health already being less than 100%. Anyone who looks like they have a membership with the piercing of the month club is also a definite turn off, along with anyone who can’t go 5 minutes without talking about their deity. If you wake me up on Sunday morning, it better be for breakfast or sex. Either way, I expect to be eating something.

It’s extremely rare to find someone on a dating site that even interests me because most are “very serious” about their religion and church, working multiple jobs PLUS in college/grad school (excessively busy), health nuts, or sports fanatics. Plus, all the cute ones are from Pittsburgh! Fuck Pittsburgh! Fuck the sports teams, fuck the traffic, fuck the parking garages with low ceilings, and fuck that bitch from the National Weather Service in Pittsburgh who doesn’t even know how to say “Pittsburgh!” WTF is so great about going to watch some stupid game played by assholes who make more in a year than you’ll probably make in a lifetime, and probably freezing your ass off or roasting in the sun????

Do normal/boring women exist anymore? Why does everyone need multiple degrees and a goddamn Masters nowadays? Can you really find nothing better to do than spend half your goddamn life in school!? It’s funny I seem to get along better with women older than me. My best friend and my ex are both 4-5 years older. My ex was a nurse. She worked 3 days a week (8-9 hours), made decent money, and had plenty of time to do whatever the fuck she wanted… like traveling, and riding me 3-4 times a day. lol

I don’t get it. Well, I sort of get it, but it’s bullshit. When I was younger, I tried the college thing and worked a bit. At that age, money doesn’t matter much. I was quiet and shy and never got out much. I’m not outgoing. When people talk to me, I talk. Otherwise, I don’t really have shit to say. I went to a boring local college, worked a couple jobs, and got pissed off because I never met anyone. Anyone I did meet ended up a friend. Don’t get me wrong, I have some awesome friends. The point is I’m terrible at meeting women and always will be. At this age, now money is an issue. I mean, I always have some cash, but I don’t work. I don’t have some lame ass 9-5 career that pays big bucks. I have neck and back problems from a car accident a while back. Hell, I had my appendix out in 2011 and they found a damn tumor in it. Which means, on top of my busy, exciting life, I also got to keep getting poked and scanned the past few years. Nothing’s really come of it, besides getting more used to blood work. I also have gallstones now, so shit just keeps going downhill the older I get.

I never got my own place because I didn’t need one that bad. I couldn’t meet anyone, so I’d just be sitting there alone playing video games. I can do that sitting here on the farm, and it’s a hell of a lot cheaper. The internet access sucks, but Verizon swears FIOS is coming soon. I also have to put up with two assholes, one of which insists on treating me like I’m 16 forever, but I digress. I’m a nice guy. I’m honest, kind, and caring. I’m generally polite, but I don’t censor myself. That should be pretty obvious. I’m not religious. I’m not registered to vote. I don’t watch sports, but I like sports movies. I could watch those all day long. Fuck the real thing though. Did I mention I don’t censor myself? I don’t smoke, and I rarely drink. I guess I use enough 4 letter words to make up for not doing the other 2.

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Fuck Your Religion – Part 2

Yet another case of bakers refusing to cater to gays has surfaced because some uptight asshole refused to write something gay on a cake. This is the whole problem with religion. People refuse to keep their beliefs and prayers to themselves, do their fucking jobs, and leave people alone. ITS A FUCKING CAKE! If I want a cake with “Fuck your deity” written on it, you should fucking bake it.

You have the right to believe in whatever sky fairy you want, but you should leave it the fuck in church. Business is business. If you’re going to run a business or work a job, you do the fucking job. You can’t be a stock clerk at Walmart then refuse to stock the condom rack because you don’t believe in birth control. All this old world super religious thinking needs to stop. All it’s ever done is hinder progress, cause wars, cause discrimination, and write stupid laws that have no business existing.

Oh, but it’s the christians being persecuted…because they refuse to render a simple fucking service and write on a cake without checking with their imaginary friend and their fucking bible first!!

What? They should go some place else? They’re not entitled to the same service as anyone else who walks in? It’s “private property?” It’s NOT your fucking house. It might be privately owned, but it’s a public place. The owner is regulated and/or licensed to conduct BUSINESS, probably in a commercial zone. Liquor stores and bars don’t even have the right to determine their own Sunday hours in most states, but THIS is where you draw the fucking line!? If it’s private property, how the hell can a cop write you a ticket for parking in handicap spaces without a permit or rolling through one of the 20 fucking stop signs at Home Depot? If the owner has the right to do whatever they want, why can’t all these places fire the union assholes when they go on strike because they want more money? Seems like a simple problem to fix. The employer sets the terms, not the employee. If you don’t like the job or the pay, fuck off and go work somewhere else. Why do these fucking unions get to hold business owners hostage by stopping them from operating? Why don’t more business owners have the balls to fight the shit instead of caving in?

If you’re going to run a PUBLIC establishment you have no right to pick and choose your fucking customers. You can barely pick and choose your fucking employees with affirmative action. Unless someone is causing enough of a disturbance to be removed or trying to rob you, you should fucking serve them. It’s that simple.

What about the religious freaks who keep suing companies after THEY took the job and refused to do it because of their religion? It’s ridiculous people think their religious shit should allow them to ignore company policy and do whatever the fuck they want or refuse to do parts of the job they were hired to do because of their sensitive beliefs. Those kind of people need to stay in their churches, cults, closed communities, and fucking caves or stop being fuckin pussies and live like normal people.

 

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Fuck Gaming

Holy shit. How the fuck does any sane person stand gaming anymore? I tried the Devil May Cry 4 Special Edition on XB1, because I loved the 360 version and wanted to earn all the achievements again. Well, fuck if it hasn’t added one of the most irritating features I’ve ever seen. Every time you load up the game OR your controller shuts off while the game is running, you’re forced to “choose a profile.” What the fuck is wrong with the profile I’m already signed in on and in a party chat with using this controller you stupid motherfucker!?!? Then to make things even better, if you leave the controller off for a while the game locks up with that dialog to connect your controller and press A. Fucking piece of shit. Is there anything that’s not broken for at least a year after release? Rare Replay still crashes randomly if you don’t hard rest to clear your cache before playing. #LearnToCodeShitThatWorks

Everything in gaming is being made idiot proof nowadays. No, more like retard proof. Every time you do anything, “are you sure?” No, I just selected that for the hell of it. FUCKING DO IT! The only time software should ask me if I’m sure is if I’m fucking deleting something! You go to quit out of a game and it tries to scare the shit out of you about losing your current progress. You just auto-saved 10 seconds ago, you piece of shit! FUCK OFF!

Then 343 is going to start banning everyone for quitting in games. Not just for 15 minutes like Reach, as if that wasn’t annoying enough. Now they’re going to keep dialing up the time every time you quit again. I can’t stand all these geniuses defending quit bans.

1. There will ALWAYS be quitters. It’s a fact of life in online games. If you care so much about your w/l or k/d then play with friends instead of randoms.

2. They paid for the game and XBL same as you. If they don’t like a map or whatever, they’re going to quit. Deal with it.

3. Think about alternative. I’ve seen it all in Reach, and that only banned for 15 minutes, but it did it every time you quit after a certain point. People will take the best weapons/vehicles and purposely waste them, drive you off the map so you commit suicide, jump on your tank or stand in front of your sniper so you kill them by accident, follow you around and shoot your shields off. The most entertaining thing is to hijack an enemy warthog with the gunner still in it and drive it around to spawn kill your own teammates so they pretty much have to betray you to stop it. I think it’s better to just let people quit. Don’t you?

The bottom line is, if they don’t want to be in the match, they’re not going to be much help. They might get 1 kill then rubber band their stick and play games on their phone until the next match. You can’t stop them. That’s what the XBL rep system is supposed to be for, not 343’s heavy handed bullshit. Then again, I was 67% avoided on Reach simply because I took all the kills in firefight and went for kills in multi-team while NEVER going for the objective. In firefight I made a point of taking every vehicle kill on days when they had a daily challenge for it as a statement for those of us who slaved away for the commendation (or still are/were) because fuck casual gamers. “I want my challenge.” Fuck you. Vehicle kills in firefight were like tight pussy–a rare and precious thing to those of us trying to get the 12,000 to max the commendation–and some stupid fucker at Bungie/343 somehow thought a daily challenge for getting them was a good idea.

By the way. Fuck Halo. I lined up at midnight for Halo 4 and Halo MCC. Never again. Halo 4 was a fucking joke. Yeah, slap everyone with a bullshit XP cap and start the MP out with almost no playlists. Slayer, slayer, and slayer. It was the same with Halo MCC but worse. On Reach, we had multi-team, SWAT, Snipers, Acton Sack, Infection, Objective. Hell, I don’t think MCC even had an FFA list starting off. SWAT was one of the highest population playlists on Reach, but they launch Halo 4 without it? What the fuck? How goddamn hard is it to add a SWAT playlist!? Copy team slayer, set DMR loadouts, disable all other weapons, and turn off shields. Done. How long did it take 343 to fucking do it?

Then MLG gets to have their own playlist with their special hardcore settings for their special players. I say “special” because they’re all fucking assholes. I still remember half the people who would hide in firefight for free shit and refuse to actually participate had MLG gamerpics and/or MLG shit in their bio. Come get 469 kills in a firefight match without dying or get one of the top 5 highest firefight scores in the world then tell me you’re too fucking good for it.

Then they all argue that camping power weapons and hiding in corners with shotguns/swords is fucking skill. Come try that shit in big team battle, assholes. Every wonder why there’s never 8v8 Halo tournaments for MLG, etc? Because they can’t handle shit where everyone spawns with access to the same weapons/vehicles on a giant fucking map. Their turbo crouching, ghandi hopping, grenade banking cheap nonsense doesn’t fucking work in BTB. It only works on little sandbox maps that they can get an advantage on, and those maps are usually unbalanced to begin with.

Another thing. Why the fuck do Halo games start you with so little ammo for your default loadout compared to other games? I’ve played games that you start MP matches with 150 rounds for your pistol. You start with like 20 on Halo Reach. I’d rather have more pistol ammo than go fight over a fucking rocket launcher/sniper/shotgun, assholes. Furthermore, why do hardly any shooter games offer a proper semi-auto weapon. Halo has the DMR, but what the hell do other games have? It’s almost always this heavy emphasis on spray and pray, full auto shit, instead of accurate weapons. You can have an AR or a Sniper. Want something accurate for medium range instead of spraying? Too fuckin bad. Either there’s nothing or there’s a pistol you can’t find any fucking ammo for…or a pistol that sucks balls like on Sniper Elite V2/3.

If 343 wants to ban someone, they should ban teabaggers. It’s like flipping people off in FPS games. Trash talking via the only sign language the game has to offer. Why even have a fucking crouch button? Anyone crouching is usually a fucking douche bag anyway. You know. Those fucking dildos that hide in the corner with a shotgun or just hide and crouch in SWAT trying to get some advantage over anyone approaching. That or ghandi hopping around the entire match in SWAT with fucking bumper jumper and crouch together. Fuck them. Crouching is completely unnecessary in multiplayer.

In any case, Master Shit Collection has too many issues to be enjoyable. These assholes couldn’t even code an infinite ammo skull for campaign. Halo CE’s Bandanna skull gave infinite ammo for EVERYTHING, but Halo 2’s Bandanna/Masterblaster doesn’t apply to engery weapons. Nice job, as usual, assholes. Then that fucking IWBYD skull on Halo 2 never spawns to be picked up. 1 in 7 chance, huh guys? Sure, that’s why it’s been 50+ tries and I still haven’t seen the motherfucker spawn. Let us not forget about 343’s complete bullshit idea of LASO. LASO is “Legendary ALL Skulls On” NOT just the ones you feel like turning on, you fucking idiots. If you’re going to pick and choose, leave out that Blind bullshit like the challenges on Reach always did. If not, turn the Envy skull on along with everything else. Envy was in the original Xbox release of Halo 2. It has no business being left out of LASO or disabling achievements.

I like to complete my games, but there’s very little I can really get into in terms of online multiplayer. Anyone smart just gets sessions together on an achievement hunting site and boosts the achievements, which I do. However, there are still idiots who will try to play the oldest and shittiest games ever released. There are also some total shit stains that think that their leaderboard status on a 10 years old game that nobody fucking plays anymore is somehow important or means anything to anyone but them. They’ll sit in a lobby all goddamn day just waiting for some random n00b to start up a match so they can ass rape them for their precious stats. Do me a favor, swamp thing. Take a shower, drag your fat ass down to the bus stop, go to Walmart, get a new fucking game that actually has an active population, and learn to play it. Nobody gives a fuck that you’re the master of some shit game nobody plays. Please go stroke your cock in private.

Yeah, I know. I’m playing old games too…cause new ones fucking SUCK! Everything that’s a strictly online game shits on people who play alone and play alone. I need 6 people to do that? Fuck you. I’m not joining a clan to be able to find enough people to do the shit I want to do on the game I bought. Clans are for kids and southern folk. Sure, it’s nice to run with 2-4 friends when you have them, but it’s fucking stupid to sit around not being able to do jack shit without them. Therefore, fuck Destiny. People like me also get fucked by arbitrary caps on progress. What the blueberry fuck muffins makes these fucking developers think they should be able to tell me I’m playing too much and limit my goddamn progress? It doesn’t matter if it’s player versus player or player versus enemy (MMO). These fucking games try to cater to casuals and limit the hardcore players so the assholes that only play a few hours a week don’t feel left behind. Fuck them! Gamers are the ones who buy 20+ games per year. Casuals buy one or two and trade them back. Gamers collect the fucking games and play the shit out of them. I played Halo Reach to the tune of 250 DAYS of playtime, and I’m probably barely top 500 for playtime on that game. At this rate, I’ll never find another game that’s worth putting that kind of time into.

Now my downloads on 360 keep timing out or something because my internet is such shit. I’m NOT getting disconnected from XBL, it just keeps popping up “Can’t download…” for no fucking reason. It’s really pissing me off. Of course 360 can’t multi-task at all. I can’t even play a fucking demo or anything offline singleplayer while downloading. Everything stops the fucking download when you boot it. The dashboard is still slow as hell. It shouldn’t take so goddamn long to bring up the details page for a game after I hit X to install it. I pressed X to install, not download everything about it from the motherfucking marketplace! 10 years and we’re just doing worse instead of better. Fuck.

There’s still no straight up blacklist to completely avoid someone you don’t want to play with again. What the fuck? The feedback system on 360 was completely meaningless and never avoided the people you told it you wanted to avoid. Do people really expect the XB1 one to not be completely broken too? Hell, 343Imbeciles get to shit on your rep for all of XBL just for quitting matches now, as if Halo MCC wasn’t broken enough. The feedback system is a joke. If you’re too good, people neg you. If you suck, people neg you. It’s a lot like firefight on Reach was. If you were killing too much, you’d get shot with fuel rods. Sit back and try to snipe, you get shot by fuel rods whether you’ve got the highest score in the game or lowest. People are never happy. All we need is a way to never play with specific people again if they piss us off, and a way to file complaints on anyone that cheats, trash talks, etc. That simple.

Headsets are still shit too. How the fuck are Turtle Beach headsets still so goddamn great, but after all these years they can’t prevent the headsets from blasting the rest of the chat party with that crazy loud tone that makes us all rip our headsets off!? Then I swear half the randoms I run into have their mic picking up their TV. How fucking stupid are you that you can’t see that voice icon on the screen? That means you’re constantly broadcasting your TV through the mic or breathing on it, you fucking idiot. Fix that shit!!!
Automatic updates on XB1 don’t work for shit either. I leave my console on 24/7, not fucking standby/sleep/whatever, ON. It should NOT wait until I actually try to load a game to tell me the motherfucker has an update. That should’ve been downloaded already, assholes. Then you have shit like Warframe that forces you to update within the game so you can’t run anything else while it updates. As an added bonus, the stupid fucker stops the update process if your controller shuts off. Who programs this shit!?!??!?!? To further fail, they never update the game installs on the fucking marketplace servers. When I download something, it should be the current fucking version, NOT download THEN demand another 10 gigs in patches. Fuck off.

Where did all this complete shit programming come from? Every game I play on both 360 and XB1 just seems to slow things down for no fucking reason. Lame ass QTEs, unskippable cutscenes, and bullshit unnecessary little cutscenes for EVERYTHING. Why the fuck do I need a cutscene showing me a door unlocked on DMC4 or to show the door opening as I go through on Resident Evil? FUCK OFF! Stop locking me into bullshit scenes for no reason and let me have control! Let me play through the game at my pace. Give me an option to turn off ALL bullshit and just fight through the fucking game. WHY is that so difficult!? Then you play games with online features that you can opt to play solo, and you still have all these fucking countdowns and nonsense when you’re alone. Everything is just slow for no fucking reason.

Furthermore, the camera in games should NOT be constantly fucking us over and making things harder. Nintendo did it better with Mario 64 20 fucking years ago than anyone else has since. What the fuck? Why is it so hard to program a decent camera or make it easy for us to adjust the fucking angle? Make a good game with challenging enemies, not bullshit that’s challenging because we can’t see what the fuck we’re doing half the time.

One more thing. What is this “safe area” and screen border setting bullshit on every new game I start? It’s not a fucking PC. It’s a fucking game console! TVs are almost all 16:9 now. Let anyone with anything old or different go into the settings to adjust their shit. We shouldn’t all be nagged by a pointless setting.

PS4 isn’t much better, but the UI is a little nicer. I rented The Order 1886 to see what it was like, and I barely made it through the fucking intro. Unskippable cutscenes and QTE shit. The only thing that kept me from ripping out the disc and sending it straight back to Gamefly in the first 60 seconds is how cool the guns look. I wanted to actually get to the point of shooting something before turning it off. PS4 is also complete shit for watching blu-ray movies. The setting whether to allow BDs to connect to the internet or not is broken. Unchecking the box is supposed to mean never allow BDs online, NOT asking me every goddamn time I put a motherfucking disc in! Then the damn thing doesn’t autoplay movies like PS3 did. The bluetooth remote is a piece of shit that automatically shuts itself off. The BT remote for PS3 never did that. Wait. That’s bluetooth too. Why the fuck can’t I use that on PS4, assholes!?

Back on the XB1 front, I picked up Gears of War UE on sale. I didn’t get it because I have any interest in the multiplayer or even give a fuck. I got it because I liked the campaign and wanted to play it again for achievements. However, the XB1 won’t let me. I waited 50 minutes for that fucking disc to install. It was NOT downloading anything, because on 3mb DSL it would’ve taken far longer. That was literally disc install time. I declined the 5.4GB update when I started, and I declined it again when I tried to boot the game. The piece of shit refuses to boot the game so I can play singleplayer unless I accept the goddamn update. Again, fuck you, MS. At least PS4 got that much right. PS4 does NOT force you to update before booting a game. You’ll likely be force to update if you want to play multiplayer, but that’s different. I should NOT have to unplug my internet and play offline to play the damn thing. Then my save isn’t synced with the cloud, and I can’t communicate with friends. I spend a lot of time in party chat with friends I’m not actually playing with. If nothing else, It helps keep me awake while I work on some of these achievements.

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Fuck People

I really get tired of dealing with idiots. I’m banned from posting on TrueAchievements again for calling out a fucking retard. I swear that TA app is just breeding the stupidity. Then again, people nowadays are just stupid in general.

I was looking for sessions to get those 2 bullshit campaign achievements on Halo MCC that require 4 people. You can’t add that game to your boost list without getting spammed by a bunch of bullshit sessions though. There’s some idiot posting sessions that aren’t even sessions just for people to remind themselves about the date based achievements. Fuck off. You’re wasting my fucking time clicking on that shit and flooding anyone who’s getting email notified of new sessions. Then you have these idiots making sessions for Spartan Ops. There’s an achievement to do it SOLO on Legendary, assholes. It’s not like it’s difficult at all. There’s no checkpoint resets. There’s only 1 chapter you can actually fail! I could see if you were making sessions to do that keeping marines alive bullshit for both spartan ops and campaign, but to do all that Spartan Ops shit co-op when you need to do it solo anyway is stupid. Today, some asshole posted a session for Annual combined with 20 multiplayer achievements! WTF is wrong with these idiots!?

Then some retard puts up a bullshit session that showed up when looking at the Deja Vu achievement and it pissed me off. This is the one that got me banned. The assclown is doing 4 player sessions to get par times on fucking easy! That’s right, run to the forum nannies and get me banned. If you can’t speedrun a mission on easy, you don’t deserve the fucking achievement. Get a different game that’s more your speed. I hear there’s a new Barbie game releasing.
Of course, I’m always the asshole. It doesn’t matter what I post, where I post it, or how logical my suggestion/complaint/whatever is. I posted on Sony’s forum because my PS4 won’t stop nagging me to allow blu-ray movies to connect to the internet. There’s an option in video playback settings for “Allow Internet Connection.” I have that disabled. Any reasonable person would expect that to mean, blu-rays won’t ever connect to the internet, NOT that it will ask me every fucking time I insert a disc!!! Yet, people line up to make me the asshole for complaining about it.

Same back on TA. I suggested achievement flags for things that can be idled or completed with a turbo controller. “oh you have to read the solution anyway.” By that logic, we don’t need to flag anything because you need to read the fucking solution anyway! Hell, we need a special flag now for those bullshit website/publisher club required achievements. Fucking garbage just keeps multiplying. Every fucking time I put a game in I have EA, Ubisoft, or some fucking assholes bugging me for my email address. FUCK OFF! I’m on Xbox. My gamertag is the only registration I should fucking need.

Shortly after writing this on TA, it disappeared along with my ability to write anything on the site: my status, blog, comments on friend feed/solutions, can’t even edit my bio. I didn’t get a PM from whoever I pissed off this time, but I apparently did a pretty good job of it.

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Fuck Political Correctness

Fuck Walmart, Amazon, eBay, South Carolina, and anyone else who gave in to this anti-freedom hate campaign against the Confederate flag. I don’t care what color you are, if your great great granddaddy fought for the north or south, or what goddamn religion you follow. Stop being stupid, backward, uptight motherfuckers!

NEWS FLASH: Freedom of Religion does NOT give you the right to ram your beliefs, values, and morals down everyone else’s throats! If people want to own guns, play violent video games, watch porn, wave Confederate flags, draw cartoons of your deity, set off fireworks until their yard looks like an army artillery practice range, have sex out of wedlock, have abortions, marry the same sex, fuck farm animals, or sell their ass on the street corner it should be their fucking right!

Why the fuck does everyone think they have a right to censor every fucking thing that bothers them? The bible bothers the fuck out of me, but I can’t censor that. I talk like I’m in an 80s action movie cause I like the way the words sound. I don’t give a fuck if anyone’s offended by it. They have no right to tell me which words are fucking acceptable in conversation. I like “shit.” I think people who use “poop” and crap” sound like pussies, but that’s their choice. People can’t handle the stars and bars or “dirty” words like shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. Yet, seeing some dude nailed to a cross all the time is somehow acceptable and healthy. Plus, those same people believe some magical being created everyone and everything, sits in the clouds with nothing better to do than listen to their fucking prayers, and he has some kind of divine plan that makes prayers ultimately pointless anyway. Now which crowd sounds fuckin crazy?

The Amish don’t believe in electricity or indoor plumbing. How would you like it if they were in charge? The current state of affairs is no different. Look at ancient times compared to now. Amish disown their own children if they don’t go along with their ridiculous religion and culture. Bible thumpers disown their children if they’re gay. They used to accuse anyone who didn’t show up for church on Sunday of witchcraft and burn them at the stake. Look at the crusades. Look at all the ridiculous tribal shit that some cultures believe. Look at all the crazy shit the Muslims claim when they attack us. Look at this world we live in! How can you still believe that your little bible story is the real one that’s so fucking great and everything in that book is so true and accurate!? It’s a form of control. Plain and simple. Jesse Ventura said it best. “religion is a crutch for the weak-minded.”

Let me spell it out. You have NO right to NOT be offended by things. All Americans have a right to free speech. That means we can say what we want, when we want, and not give a flying fuck if anyone else likes it or not. However, these shit beetles somehow think freedom of religion allows them to ban anything that goes against their fucking religion, no matter how illogical or unconstitutional the ban is. I bet there’s a constitutional argument to be made for a lot of things are are currently illegal on both state and federal levels, but people just don’t have the resources or balls to fight the laws themselves. It’s too hard to get laws repealed. I think there are still laws on the books for hanging horse thieves in California. Did you know whaling is illegal in Utah? Think about that for a minute. Whaling…in Utah. See a lot of whales in the fucking desert, do you? If you smoke enough peyote, you probably see lots of things, but that’s beside the point here. It’s 2015. Why is there still no mail/parcel delivery on Sunday? Fucking churches. Would there not be more jobs for weekend staff if everyone delivered on the fucking weekend!? People are stuck in this 19th century mentality that everything should shutdown on Sunday so you can go to church. Well, that’s not how it is anymore.

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