Fuck Realism in Video Games

Am I the only one that thinks developers are focusing too much on realism in games? I hate sports, but I used to buy sports games because they were fun. Put the goalie through the net (Gretzky 3D Hockey), make a player that looks like Frankenstein and dunk from half court (NBA Hangtime), etc. They had a simulation option, but they catered to the people that enjoy the arcade experience. Midway had the right idea there. Now EA and 2K shit all over the arcade fans, so the only idiots buying their games are hardcore sports fans and people looking for easy achievements/trophies.

The same is true of racing games. Why haven’t I seen an HD rerelease of Cruis’n USA? That was one of the best racers on N64. Waverace? 1080 Snowboarding? Good shit. Do we get any good snowboarding games anymore? Hell no. Racing games are all simulation shit. I don’t want to be on my brakes 80% of the race trying to make bullshit hairpin turns every 10 fucking feet. I want fast paced racing that doesn’t have retarded sharp turns every 2 seconds. I want street racing. I like Ridge Racer 6, but they made the AI ridiculously unfair. I still managed to get all but 1 achievement on that. I miss drifting around corners full speed and never needing to slow down. I miss unlocking ridiculous cars that corner like mad. I miss hitting nitrous constantly. Juiced 2 was really fun. Do we get another one of those? Nope. Just more Forza shit.

I see the same thing with shooters. Why does every fucking game have to copy Call of Duty’s iron sights bullshit? Why can’t we get the option of a reticule? I don’t play on a 40 inch HD screen to have the goddamn gun block half the screen when I try to aim. That’s another thing. There’s no such thing as dead accurate guns anymore. It’s all bloom and recoil and shit. Fuck you. I’d actually like to hit where the hell I’m aiming every fucking shot. I’m shooting alien dinosaurs and gremlins that breath helium(?). I need real gun physics like I need a 2nd asshole. You want to give me realism? How bout you stop making wooden doors that are fucking rocket proof?!?!?! Why the hell do I need a key when I have a rocket? You want realism? How bout AI that does NOT have 100% accuracy no matter how fast you run? How bout AI that doesn’t magically see me through walls a half mile away? Thank you. Why the hell don’t we ever see good railguns in games? The only game that had a proper, Eraser style, railgun was the original Turok Dinosaur Hunter on N64. They called it the Pulse Rifle on there, and it was fucking awesome.

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