Fuck Waffle House

For me, the Waffle House experience started with a random visit to one in Fort Walton Beach, Florida in 2005. We were on our way to go on a Cruise my mother won out of Tampa, but we stopped in FWB for a singe day to visit my father’s cousin. He took us to WH for breakfast, and so began my waffle addiction.

When we got back, we noticed a WH about to open in Niles, OH (winter 2005) and started going there. The food was amazing, and the people were awesome. I had a couple servers that remembered my entire order (right down to the strawberry jelly). Yeah, I’m a creature of habit. One them, Val, moved on to Hubbard WH when that opened. That was a lot closer, so I started go there 3-4 times a week (sometimes more). I started to vary my order a little based on my mood and who was cooking. At the time Val and her ex/boyfriend (Danny) were the two best cooks, even though Val mostly served. After the Austintown WH opened, Val and Danny got into some fight with the owner and lost their jobs. I still keep in touch with them. Val is my best friend. There’s a hell of a long story behind that.

Then Bryan and Derek became my cooks of choice. Why do some people suck so much at cooking? I guess half the reason Bryan and Derek were so good was being trained by the master (Danny). Well, I know Derek was. I’m not sure about Bryan. Anyway, All was mostly well around there until the owner (Doug) left the business. There was a guy from corporate there for a bit until they got a new owner. The first thing owner #2 did was fire the 2 best cooks they had (Bryan and Derek), and he wouldn’t even give the manager at Hubbard a fucking reason for it!! The asshole also proceeded to run off or fire nearly everyone who originally worked for Doug at both my usual locations. There are currently all of 2 people I know left from the original staff between the 2 locations, and I used to know everybody there.

I didn’t bother going in for 6 months or so after losing my favorite cooks a 2nd time and hearing about everyone else quitting and getting fired. Then I tried it once or twice a year and the idiots at the Hubbard WH couldn’t even make decent waffles anymore. They still can’t, last I knew. I won’t even bother going to the Hubbard one anymore, especially with the driveway between WH and Flying J being so fucked up it’s ridiculous. I’m not driving through there in my new truck. I decided to try the one in Niles again this summer, and found one of the servers who used to be at the Hubbard one. I also discovered a cook that was actually good (Bobbi). Owner #2 departed, and the local WH locations became corporate.

They’ve still never learned how to keep the goddamn waffle irons clean. When they make chocolate chip waffles, the chocolate ends up stuck to the iron and gets on other waffles they make for a while. I didn’t order a chocolate chip waffle. I don’t want that burnt ass black chocolate that’s been cooking the past hour on mine! It’s a fairly simple problem to solve, but people are fucking lazy. There are like 12 waffle irons there, assholes! Pick one or two and dedicate them exclusively to chocolate chip waffles. Problem solved!

I’ve decided to only got to WH when Bobbi is cooking now. I mostly did the same when Bryan and Derek were around at Hubbard. I followed their schedule. Problem is the manager at the Niles/Howland one is being a bitch and won’t tell me when Bobbi works. Bobbi doesn’t care. She tells me her schedule for the week when I remember to ask. It’s a half hour fucking ride over there. I’m not coming in to eat unless I know Bobbi is cooking. I don’t give a fuck. The manager damn well knows me, and knows my situation. She’s obviously annoyed nobody likes her inconsistent cooking. The district manager tried to serve me half a waffle last time he cooked for me (part of it stuck in the iron), so fuck him too. They still don’t know how to hang onto workers either. One of those last 2 remaining servers from the original crew even got another job and plans to move on because she’s tired of dealing with shit management. She put in for a transfer back to the Hubbard WH like 5 months ago and got ignored.

I have a feeling I’ll be needing a new place to eat soon. I was going to Denny’s during the time I dropped WH before, but they changed the goddamn sausage about a year ago. I haven’t really be inclined to eat there since.

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2 Responses to Fuck Waffle House

  1. I HATE MICRO$OFT
    Just tried to forward a picture from my dropbox to an ex and yippehiyae – computer says no! – you can do this in two fucking seconds on android but some fucking taxi driver stole my phone so I’m stuck with a Windows disaster 8.1 PC which I am about to throw in the street in Bangkok (I’m on the 33rd floor so worried about Microsoft injuring even more people).

    At what point did they switch from developers who like to make things easy – to developers from the planet fucking Klingon?

    I’m installing Linux first thing tomorrow even though I;ve got a fully licensee version of the dreaded Windows – its shit and I will never use anything micro$oft again – ever

    Their humongously overpriced WP can’t even be used to write a simple letter – try to type in a delivery address – looks great with paragraph spacing between each line – nice one Bill – you asshole.

    What a bunch of cock sucking wankers.

    Believe me when I say they will be bankrupt before 2020 – sell your stock now and come to Thailand for a break – living under a Junta and military curfew is a lot easier than typing a letter on Word xx

  2. Actually Bill – I’m getting in the mood here…

    I set up a software company based on the very reliable CPM O/S along with the first PCs in 1983. Then I had to manipulate the software to fit with PC DOS and then you nicked that from IBM and made it into the really unspeakably unreliable MS DOS. I thought the world had hit a big meteorite but it was nothing compared with the launch of Windows! I fucking nearly went bust trying to fix up my software so that it would work with the world’s worst O/S. Well nothing has changed since then – every bit of s/w you’ve ever released takes more time updating its own bugs than you could possibly spend using it.

    Glad to say that I put my trust in Novel rather than the notoriously useless Windows NT and managed to sell my little company company for around GBP 5 million before you really fucked things up by trying to copy Apple even more.

    I used to meet lovely relaxed ad-agency guys who used Apple and said – what’s the problem? They were worried about my hair either standing up on end or falling out in clumps. I was worried too and it’s all down to you – tosser!

    Now you have $78 billion or some disgusting unspendable amount! Just think of how much you would have left if you actually answered all the support calls from your totally frustrated customers instead of charging them on their credit cards for the privilege of talking to a no brain dork in India who can’t even spell your address?

    Not a fucking cent – you are a bankrupt and (allegedly – my opinion) a wanker!

    All love

    J

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